BY KATARINA LA POLL

Singer-songwriter Loren Gray releases her highly-anticipated debut album “Guilty,” a vulnerable portrayal of the highs and lows of her journey finding herself as an artist. Beginning her career as a content creator with a robust online presence and dedicated following (now over 80 million followers on platforms combined), Loren shares how music was the missing link and what she does to discover her potential in new endeavors. 

Fans love Loren’s boldness and authenticity—having cut ties with major music labels to create work that is true to her—as well as Loren’s ability to make fans feel as a part of her day-to-day as are her own circle of friends. In this exclusive interview, Loren opens up about songwriting, her biggest fear in life, and relinquishing feelings of unworthiness as she taps into her childlike wonder and celebrates all she has achieved.

First off, Happy 21st birthday!! (and birthday month!) It’s definitely one of those rite of passage ages. How are you feeling about moving into this chapter of your life? Also, I have to ask, what was your first drink order as a 21-year-old?!

Thank you so much! Moving into this chapter of my life, I’m feeling very optimistic. I've been taking a lot of time to focus on myself and prioritizing the things in my life that make me happy, and it’s really exciting because this is the first time in my life that I’ve prioritized my happiness. My first drink order as a 21-year-old was a Sex on the Beach - of course, my fav. 

Guilty feels like such a pivotal moment in your journey as an artist. Not only as your debut album but also for its lyrical content and the scope of sounds within it, which feel like a shift from earlier works in your discography. I’m especially struck by the candidness of the storytelling. What experiences solidified your decision in creating an album like Guilty?

I feel like the experiences that solidified my decision in creating an album like Guilty were all of the things I experienced between 17 and 20. I learned a lot about myself as an artist, as a person, what I want out of life. I wanted to encapsulate the highs and lows of finding myself in this album and use it as a sort of time capsule to not only remember what I’ve been through and as a way to move on. 

Were there any fears you’ve had to overcome in making Guilty or putting it out? If so, how did you move past them?

I think my biggest fear in writing music my entire life has been vulnerability and honesty. I have a hard time processing emotions so putting those emotions into words was even harder. Being surrounded by people who were encouraging and understanding and wanted to hear my story and not create a story that wasn’t authentic to me was super helpful in that process. 

You chose “Guilty” as the name of the first track and album title, what does this word “guilty” mean to you and how do you feel like your relationship to the meaning has changed over time?

The feeling of guilt and being undeserving has been something I’ve wrestled with for a really long time. When I listen to all of my songs in order, I noticed a pattern of some songs being a portrayal of confidence and everything I hope to be, and then the more honest songs that are more self-deprecating, and balancing those two sides of me. My relationship with the word guilty has changed over time because I’m learning to let go of some of those feelings of unworthiness and accepting and celebrating where I’m at and what I’ve achieved, and even beyond that myself as a person and prioritizing my happiness.

Who are some of your dream collaborators? 

My favorite artists of all time are Taylor Swift, Eminem, Lil Peep, and My Chemical Romance. So, I would say right now, my biggest dream collaboration would be anything remotely involving Taylor Swift.

You’ve spoken about how a lot songs originated from poems you’d written. I’d love to know what your process is like from moving a poem from the text alone into something that lifts off into a song? Do you have favorite poets you read, watch, or listen to?

So whenever I’m feeling an emotion or processing something, I write in my journal in poem format, and when I go into a session I reflect on those feelings and emotions and sort of pick whatever I’m dealing with in that moment and I write a song about it. Sometimes I'll pull from what I’ve said in poems or journal entries and then I collaborate with other musicians to sort of expand on those feelings. I like a lot of classic poetry - I would say my favorite poet is Emily Dickinson…and Edgar Allen Poe - you know the classics, but I’m definitely reading a lot of poetry now especially since I’ve started songwriting more frequently. 

A lot of your work feels like a looking back on who you were and how one continues to define and re-invent themselves. You often refer to the “little-Loren,” I love that you keep her in mind. I wonder, how did you entertain yourself as a child? Do you have specific memories of little-Loren that now, looking back, feel totally aligned with where you’re at today? 

So as a kid, I was really independent. I entertained myself most of the time with stuffed animals… I had a karaoke machine where I would sing all of the time. I enjoyed performing and I would buy little ticket reels and set up chairs for my parents to watch me perform and come up with routines, so I think keeping those memories in mind and keeping that childlike wonder and innocence and reflecting on that when I’m writing and going about my life is important to me.

I admire how vocal you’ve been about destigmatizing asking for help and talking openly about mental health challenges, especially as a creative whose had to navigate the internet from such a young age. What tips or advice would you give to others navigating a similar journey?

I feel like the biggest advice I wish I’d heard when I was in school and having a hard time is that nothing lasts forever. Usually, that's used in a negative connotation, but I think especially for people who are going through it, hearing that and hearing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel is super helpful, and if I would’ve known then what I know now, that I would be okay and there is hope, I think I would’ve been a lot more optimistic through it. 

We know you’ve got tons of teddy bears—some who even move their heads in the backs of videos! What stuffed animals or objects did you have or still have from childhood that you adore? 

I have 2 stuffed animals from my childhood - I have my first puppy dog, it’s a little pink dog, and Puddles, a Beanie Baby duck, and they both still travel with me.

You seem to have a really intimate and special friend group and creative circle, often appearing in each other’s music videos and sharing big life moments. How do you think your friendships influence you as an artist?

All of my friendships feel like family. My circle is very tight and sometimes when I’m writing I’m not only inspired by things happening in my life but also things that are happening in my friends' lives because I feel so connected to their situations and so inspired by them that sometimes it's nice to step outside of myself and imagine being in someone else’s shoes, and beyond that my friends keep me grounded and lift me up and I'm very grateful to keep the friends I have.

I love how you can feel the punk and country influences throughout this album! Can you talk a little about how those genres might lend to the story you’re telling? Also, what have you been your all-time favorite love or breakup albums/anthems in those genres? (I can tell you two of mine are Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” and Carrie Underwood’s "Before He Cheats” - they hype me tf up!!)

I grew up listening to all different genres of music from Eminem from Garth Brooks to My Chemical Romance to Sublime, so I've always been inspired by every kind of music. I feel like I pull a little bit from every genre because there are artists I connect to emotionally in every genre of music - I like to write outside of a specific genre so I'm influenced by a lot of different musical sounds. I’m a huge Speak Now fan - specifically because of “Dear John” and I'm really looking forward to Taylor's Version. I also love the The Black Parade album which isn't necessarily a breakup album but it’s just so full of emotion.

You’ve grown up with an audience and have this incredible ability to connect with your fans. What’s it like now creating where the end result of your work put out is a collaborative album or a music video? In what ways do you feel like your experiences as content creator have translated into you coming into your own as a singer-songwriter?

I feel like the one thread that connects my social media presence to my music career and who I am as an artist is my desire to connect to people. I've always had a really close relationship with my fans and I've also always connected to artists through their lyrics, so to me, music and writing was the missing link to connect with people on a deeper level - of course I love music but for me, it's about bringing people together and making people feel less alone.

You’re going on tour!! Thoughts and feelings? How do you prepare? What are three things you triple-checked you packed? 

I am so excited to be on tour with Hunter - he is incredible, so talented, and it's so amazing to get the opportunity to learn from someone. This is my first tour ever and I'm so nervous but so excited at the same time. I have so many suitcases packed and I also ordered a ridiculous amount of cowboy boots so I feel as prepared as I can be, and now, it's just time for me to go out there and do the damn thing.

It seems you constantly challenge yourself and throw yourself into trying new experiences—from launching your own jewelry line & always to voiceover acting in a movie as a feisty chihuahua, what other creative experiences do you think you’d like to try next? What or who do you think has most influenced your ability to leap into the unknown? 

My biggest fear in life is staying the same. I feel like the only way I’ve ever been able to learn about myself, who I am, and what I’m capable of, is by putting myself out there falling on my face, making mistakes, potentially embarrassing myself, getting back up, and trying again. So, I love jumping in the deep end and seeing my potential in things that I might not have seen I had potential in, and I kind of just lead with my heart. If something comes to me and it feels right, I’m always down to try - I’ll never not try.

If you were a book, what would you be and why?

If I were a book, I would be “Alice In Wonderland '' because for me it’s about jumping in the deep end, curiosity, and exploring the unknown, and that's my favorite part about who I am and what I do…and the blonde hair also helps.